On Being Famous ….

I don’t know Desperate Horse Wife. The other day I ended up on her blog, though I don’t know how … and dropped a comment in passing. Now she has TAGGED me in a game of “When I become Famous…”, and says I’m to list my demands.

Aaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhh! It’s not usually something that I’m into to be honest. At first I thought it was one of those chain-mails … well it is kinda, and this is a weak link in the chain, because the other end of my link ain’t attached to another link … so the games ends here for the moment (sorry). Her own effort at the extravagances of being famous (which I will presume means being rich into the bargain as well), seem to have a lot to do with comfort and chocolate. Nothing wrong with that I say. But, it has gotten me thinking how I would react to becoming rich and famous.

1. Well obviously my first item would be to get one or two people to run the farm for me, so I could go about my business of doing things that famous people do. That goes without saying. Of course there’s nothing like going back in every now and again for an hour here, a day there to get the hands dirty and to feel good about myself again, to get away from the stresses of being famous. A bit like Mel Gibson, George W Bush, Tom Selleck, Tommy Lee Jones, Julia Roberts etc etc

2. Of course I’d have to bring the house up to standard. It takes a lot of time and money to bring an 18th century Georgian house up to standard. Obviously money would be no objective. Only the best will do if you’re going to have your famous friends around. Appearances have to be kept up.

3. On the matter of having famous friends around, I would of course have to transform the old Georgian farm buildings into deluxe apartments, so that visitors could have their own privacy while on the estate.

4. Needless to say, I would have my own butler & team of servants to run the estate and everything from walking the dogs to shining the sliver to serving up meals on request.

5. Security would be key as well. A nice 12 foot wall all around the estate should keep out most of the riff-raff. While on that thought, half the farm used to hold deer in the past. It was known as the “deer park”. Wouldn’t it be nice to bring that back and have some deer hunting on the grounds, as well as grouse. Of course it would be all managed, and stocks replenished. Lots of horses, and maybe an elephant for the novelty factor so my famous friends could talk about me. Oh, I could just about imagine Wesley Snipes taking out a poor unfortunate deer. Oh the excitement!

6. Shep and Buttons would become pampered pups, but they would still lead the happy life they currently have. Not a lead in sight, rabbits a plenty in the horizon to chase, and maybe the odd dangerous liaisons along the way with a bitch of equal fame.

7. Clothes, well the current bunch of rags would just not cut it at all. So I’d have to get my own wardrobe assistant, to be at my beck and call. Even while on the estate, I would need to be impeccable looking.
8. I couldn’t be without a personal fitness instructor. I’d need to be pushed when I need it to get into shape and stay in shape … all for the adoring masses. A big gut just would not go down well in the glossy magazines now would it!

9. Get myself a mistress or two. Something on the side just to keep things interesting every now and then when I’m getting bored of my partner of the moment … a bit like those French upper class: “A French gentleman thinks no more of proclaiming that he has a mistress than that he has a tailor” – William Makepeace ThackerayThe Paris Sketch Book

9. I would have to purchase the land from under all the neighbors, or find some obscure rule of law, to evict them from their plots. Can’t be seen to be living too close to anyone unimportant now.

10. Hmm, chocolate.Oh, I could go on, but I wouldn’t want to offend those living outside the estate walls.

You know when all is said and done, I’m not really enamored by fame and fortune at all. There’s lots of emptiness and posturing involved in the business of being famous. I’m just not me, and I’m very happy happy doing what I’m doing, with the friends I have. Yes I’d like to lighten the load a little, but wouldn’t everyone.

Note 1: follow the link to Tom Selleck … it’s just funny

Note 2: I quite enjoyed the writing this, which surprised me very much. Thanks to Desperate-Horse-Wife for the push.

Note 3: A recent survey of British teens, concluded that the majority just wanted to be celebrities … and not have any particular career or talent. There’s an awful lot of them in for a big bump. Sorry, I can’t find the link now. I may find it later.


3 comments so far

  1. desperatehorsewife on

    LOL…it’s good to be famous for just a moment, don’t you think? We can still clean the barn. Originally the game was, “When I become a famous rider”, but there really aren’t that many horse blogs out there, so I switched the game of tag over to the farm blog and lucky you…you were too slow when it came time to run away!

  2. laurie on

    funny. as i was reading this, it felt obligatory… like, “if i were famous, this is what i’d have to do.” but i didn’t think your heart was in any of them. except maybe no 6.

    i have no interest in fame, either. money? well, just as a cushion. so as not to have to fret all the time about retirement.

  3. rough hands on

    No, I have no interest in fame. You loose your friends that you spent so long gathering, you loose everything.
    Interesting also that a woman from Limerick won €113m in the Euro lotto last year. Family has lots of death/kidnap threats. Have had to move from home to a secure location in the country. Won a fortune and fame came in the bargin. I’d hate that to happen to me … which is why I don’t play the lottery.
    I don’t care about money either, as long as I can get by with a little to spare for later life and/or when it’s really needed. (I actually find it very hard to spend money).

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